Friday, September 24, 2010

Goodbye Sunshine

Lately, all the good's came with the bad. I've been pushing through it, but today wasn't so easy. I found out that my time with my dear Volkswagen was complete. I knew she was going to give up soon so I don't know why I'm so upset. Maybe it's the timing, my own self being unprepared financially or really thinking of replacing her with something else. She's caused a lot of problems, as in putting the same amount she was purchased for into fixing her up. Today hearing almost $2000 in repairs and new parts made me want to throw up. Repairs are usually $200-$300. So do I put $2000 in and still continue to face other repairs or put the money towards a new car...? As if I can even sacrifice the money wherever it may go anyways! 

The stress of so many different things, now with this was a breaking point. Upset, not sure of what to do I called Brent for comfort. He did his best, but instead ended up making me more upset. Yeah...

Here I am in the bathtub. Feeling as though hiding out in here is also hiding from problems. Didn't I say recently I'd face those things? Seems I still don't have the strength. Guess I'm still a child like Brent said. Always will be. That's what you get for being spoiled from your parents all of your life. Not knowing how to stand on your own two feet. Did I mention the high probability they'll still help me out with this too? 

Seriously. Do I sell my plasma? I'm working for free at a hospital forty hours a week and working a part time shitty paying job that doesn't even cover my phone bill. Dear football players that get paid thirteen million or more a year, could ya just share .5 percent?
Woe is me.
Apologies for this post. 
Lately, I've been feeling like an idiot.

Idiot example:
Face Palm.
Today I walked my little butt to the director of the whole departments office and sat down in his chair. My voice was shaking with outrage. I told him that a woman, that was sixty years old in our department, was the hardest worker I'd ever seen in my life. That she was inspiring and was loved by every patient. That she was being put on the back burner and doing every one else's work along with her own. That the people that were taking advantage of her, were ungrateful, lazy and undeserving of the day shift position she deserved. [They're cutting people's shifts to cut costs] Now this amazing woman will be stuck working midnights, never seeing anyone, no one experiencing her skill, which would only bring down the department without her on days. She's what makes the department thrive. 
AND instead of the director understanding that I felt so strongly, I as a STUDENT, went and told him myself, he was confused and said something off the topic I intended. Making me feel like a complete idiot for even speaking. 

There's nothing more I hate, than when people don't understand me or see the truth.

I'm listening to Explosions in the sky, which is what just so happens to make me write about such nonsense deeply and un-amusing to you, I know. Their songs have no lyrics, but their instruments speak through me and I pour words out like rushing water. Now, I'm feeling better, I'll get myself out of this tub. Figure out some car alternatives and get over today and ready for tomorrow.


  1. I'm sorry that things seem to be going downhill for you right now, but I have to say I admire your courage in talking honestly to your director, even if it all went over his head. It seems like the people that make all the decisions really have no idea what they're doing.

  2. Thanks for actually reading my post Wendy. I know it's all something that will pass. =]

  3. Explosions is my feel better music too.

    I hope things work themselves out soon! Car problems are the worst! My car is always having new broken parts. Ugh.

    Good for you for standing up to your boss , even if it didn't get the results you wanted. You were brave!

  4. Thanks Chelsea! I've always loved Explosions.

    Car repairs are terrible! That's part of the reason why I'd be so upset giving it up after ALL the money that's been put into it! Plus, now that it's needing such a large repair I most likely won't sell it for anything, losing all the money.

    I did feel a lot better after speaking to him that I at least said it! <3

  5. Oh goodness how I agree with you... I hate when people don't understand what my intentions are.

    I have a VW too and love it. What a hard choice for you to make!

    Love your chubby cheeks, by the way :)

  6. Awe I thanks Alice! I will always love my VW but it's just too costly to maintain!

  7. Hey, seriously, well done on sticking up for that lady - very few people would, so don't feel like an idiot, you're just a lot better than a lot of people out there :)

    Shame about your car; things will get better soon, I'm sure. Stay positive, sweets x